If I Stay follows
Mia's story, a girl reminiscing on her old life and watching over her wounded body
in present time. In the opening chapter, her family has a terrible car crash
that rips them torn apart. Both parents die immediately, leaving Mia and her much
younger brother in critical health.
Though the story is centered around the time of the
accident, half the time Mia is recalling events that happened in her past. Very
little of her memories are in chronological order, as she remembers everything
from her young childhood to situations that happened mere days ago. Many of her
memories are centered on her boyfriend, Adam, who has been steadily drifting
apart from her. Other memories pertain to her family, her family friends, her
longtime best friend, and her passion of playing the cello.
One of the things I like about this book is that Mia does
not come out and tell the reader that she is devastated. In fact, I was initially
a bit surprised by her lack of reaction. This absence of reaction could be
attributed to shock, but she speaks very articulately and lucidly about both
her past and her present. It is only as you continue reading that you begin to experience
the overwhelming love she feels for her family and friends and the astounding despair
she experiences at their loss. Mia tells the story in a detached voice. It is
her stories themselves that make you see the incredible depths that she loves
her family.
Another great thing about this book is its focus on music.
Regardless of whether Mia is the midst of a memory or she is watching the
horror of her present life, music saturates every page. From her rock-and-roll
parents to her punk boyfriend to her personal lifelong obsession with classical
composers, music is a crucial part of this story, incorporated both thoroughly
and well.
But Mia is not portrayed as a prodigy. She is painted as
someone who has worked very hard to get where she is. In her younger years, her
parents complain about the noises her cello makes when she practices, but she practices
for hours and hours regardless. She feels anxious and self-conscious when
performing. And, despite her astounding ability, Mia is neither an arrogant nor
conceited. She is instead a very quiet, shy person. She is mature, but not
unrealistically so. This book very truly could have been told from the voice of
a teenager.
The fact that this book has a sequel with the same characters gives away the harsh
decision portrayed in the title: whether to hold onto her life or to go forward
into whatever death holds for her. However, that does not take away from the
journey or its struggles. It's astounding that she has any decision at all in
it. From the medical scenes in this book, it is very evident that Mia is
entirely control of her own fate. When she is feeling warm toward those who
remain, her health improves. When she feels the despondency from all she has
lost, her health suffers. Though this is most likely not realistic, it is
nothing short of fascinating.
I have praised this book a good deal, although I think I
like the subject matter more than I liked the book itself. Mia felt very real
to me, but perhaps that sense of realness comes in part from mundane
descriptions of her life before the accident. The whole story is not
entertaining; in fact, parts of it are even boring. But that just adds meat to
the skeleton of Mia's character and to many of the other characters that
decorate her life.
One exception to this is Adam. Her parents, their friends,
her brother, her best friend... they are all great. In fact, with the exception
of Mia's cello prowess, those characters are perhaps more interesting and
entertaining than Mia herself. But Mia's love interest falls a tad short in my
mind. I'm not sure what it is about Adam that I don't connect with. I think it
may have been the feeling that I was supposed
to like him and be impressed by him that ignited the dislike.
Regardless, the reality of this book is undeniable and
heartbreaking. The dual time periods of the past and the present mixed with the
lack of chronology leave you with a sense of vertigo. At first, the mix gives
you a little confusion about the specifics, but the overall big picture comes
together wonderfully.
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