Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Review: If I Stay by Gayle Forman (If I Stay #1)

If I Stay follows Mia's story, a girl reminiscing on her old life and watching over her wounded body in present time. In the opening chapter, her family has a terrible car crash that rips them torn apart. Both parents die immediately, leaving Mia and her much younger brother in critical health.

Though the story is centered around the time of the accident, half the time Mia is recalling events that happened in her past. Very little of her memories are in chronological order, as she remembers everything from her young childhood to situations that happened mere days ago. Many of her memories are centered on her boyfriend, Adam, who has been steadily drifting apart from her. Other memories pertain to her family, her family friends, her longtime best friend, and her passion of playing the cello.   

One of the things I like about this book is that Mia does not come out and tell the reader that she is devastated. In fact, I was initially a bit surprised by her lack of reaction. This absence of reaction could be attributed to shock, but she speaks very articulately and lucidly about both her past and her present. It is only as you continue reading that you begin to experience the overwhelming love she feels for her family and friends and the astounding despair she experiences at their loss. Mia tells the story in a detached voice. It is her stories themselves that make you see the incredible depths that she loves her family.

Another great thing about this book is its focus on music. Regardless of whether Mia is the midst of a memory or she is watching the horror of her present life, music saturates every page. From her rock-and-roll parents to her punk boyfriend to her personal lifelong obsession with classical composers, music is a crucial part of this story, incorporated both thoroughly and well.

But Mia is not portrayed as a prodigy. She is painted as someone who has worked very hard to get where she is. In her younger years, her parents complain about the noises her cello makes when she practices, but she practices for hours and hours regardless. She feels anxious and self-conscious when performing. And, despite her astounding ability, Mia is neither an arrogant nor conceited. She is instead a very quiet, shy person. She is mature, but not unrealistically so. This book very truly could have been told from the voice of a teenager.

The fact that this book has a sequel with the same characters gives away the harsh decision portrayed in the title: whether to hold onto her life or to go forward into whatever death holds for her. However, that does not take away from the journey or its struggles. It's astounding that she has any decision at all in it. From the medical scenes in this book, it is very evident that Mia is entirely control of her own fate. When she is feeling warm toward those who remain, her health improves. When she feels the despondency from all she has lost, her health suffers. Though this is most likely not realistic, it is nothing short of fascinating.

I have praised this book a good deal, although I think I like the subject matter more than I liked the book itself. Mia felt very real to me, but perhaps that sense of realness comes in part from mundane descriptions of her life before the accident. The whole story is not entertaining; in fact, parts of it are even boring. But that just adds meat to the skeleton of Mia's character and to many of the other characters that decorate her life.

One exception to this is Adam. Her parents, their friends, her brother, her best friend... they are all great. In fact, with the exception of Mia's cello prowess, those characters are perhaps more interesting and entertaining than Mia herself. But Mia's love interest falls a tad short in my mind. I'm not sure what it is about Adam that I don't connect with. I think it may have been the feeling that I was supposed to like him and be impressed by him that ignited the dislike.

Regardless, the reality of this book is undeniable and heartbreaking. The dual time periods of the past and the present mixed with the lack of chronology leave you with a sense of vertigo. At first, the mix gives you a little confusion about the specifics, but the overall big picture comes together wonderfully.

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